Yeah, maybe I am a little beat up,* but that's not what I mean when I liken myself to a piñata. What I mean is that I'm full of candy and booze,^ just like how piñatas should be.
The weird thing is that I'm more drunk now - home, alone, with my cats~ - than I was in Vegas last week.
All things considered I want to count Vegas as a win, but considering 1) I consumed less than five alcoholic beverages the entire four days I was in Nevada, 2) I came out $3 "ahead"+, 3) the most "action" I saw in Vegas was on a dance floor in the Paris casino and came in the form of an ass slap from a drunkard who had previously been rejected by my friend, AND a very large black man's warm, soft junk resting on my thigh as he tried to cross the dance floor, ** and 4) the hundreds of dollars I spent on food.^^
I had AMAZING food. I had good food. And, I had acceptable food.
When all was said and done I was just excited not to be in Oregon, which is probably why I'm planning my next two trips out of this hipster oasis.~~ I can only hope that it's sooner than later.***
*I totally have a bruise on my right wrist the size of a thumb that makes me look like an abused woman. The strange thing is that I have no idea where it came from.
^Best. Weekend. Ever.
+I lost $2 on slots and won $5 at Casino War. Granted, I spent less than 15 minutes gambling the entire tie I was in Nevada and promptly turned around and reinvested my $3 winnings in the casino in a form of a Diet Pepsi - I'll take every little win I can get.
~Living every teenage lesbians dream. Too bad that I'm not a lesbian, right?
**I'm still not sure if this one was on purpose, due to the packed dance floor, or cut short thanks to my robot. We may never know.
^^Now you know my weakness - food. Also, my traveling companions all know my weakness for cheese.++
++I. Love. Cheese.
~~I just want to get out so, so badly.
***So, I get drunk, wake up with all sorts of strange bruises, and not feel ashamed. Again.
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