Sunday, January 27, 2013

It's Sucking my Will to Live

Yes, I'm talking about work.

The last thing I want to hear from one of my managers and a coworker - completely independent of each other - after I put in a 50+ hour week, including nights and weekends, is that I should put in more hours.

I might understand their comments if I was a habitual time waster, had a major project in the works, or even if I wasn't efficient.  But, I work through lunches and skip on pretty much all of my coworkers'  bi-daily coffee runs (including the advice giver), I just wrapped up a major project about 10 days ago, and I've been known to do things like update reports in 45 minutes that others couldn't or wouldn't do in several months.

It sucks, but it's more than the ridiculous and unnecessary time demands.  It's the conflicting advice that is coming at me from all directions:

A coworker labeled as a sourpuss suggested to always show up to work happy, "You don't want to be labeled a grouch, like me."

Whereas the coworker who suggested that put in more hours went on to encourage me to "be more even keeled" and not be so cheerful at work.*

After all of that and passive aggressive comments from the same manager about "leaving early" (aka on time, after I worked through lunch and actively put in over nine hours that day), I feel one thing - exhausted.

It doesn't help that I had been stressing myself out and making myself sick with worry about completing the big project on time.  So, I've been taking a sick day here, and a sick day there.

Last week the other big news around my department was that - although we should use our sick time if we are sick - we need to keep in mind that the higher-ups in the department are tracking who uses sick time on Mondays and Fridays.

I pointed out during a team meeting that I've been using sick time for doctor's appointments.  I was instructed not to do it.  (Actually, it was more like a collective, "NOOO!" from the above referenced manager and the four other people on the team.)

Ugh.  Seriously.  This kind of information would have come in handy a year ago.

It all makes me so tired.  So very tired.

So very exhausted.


*This particular coworker also suggested that I be more serious at work.  Within ten minutes of this conversation she was throwing handfuls of paperclips at another coworker.