I just got upset about the fact that I my house plants want to be watered at least once every other week.
Can you imagine what would happen if I had kids that expected to be fed and changed several times a day? Yeah, I know. It'd be a disaster!
Why then are my younger siblings* betting that I'm going to be the next one to pop out a rugrat? Probably because they think it'd be hilarious!
We'll see who has the last laugh.**
*Who will be 29, 28, and 27 this year.^
^Yes, I did that in reverse order. Because I have to count backward from my own age.+
+Maybe this should have been titled Reason 4,209 Why I'm the Worst Sister EVER...
**In the last two minutes I've come to terms with the fact that I'm a bad sister and can't recall random facts like people's ages at the drop of a hat. You know what? I'm okay with it.
I'm so okay with my role as a bad sister that I'd have no problem making those bitches watch the video of me pooing all over a table while strangers have their hands in my junk, and a cantaloupe tares open my pink parts. If this shit ever goes down, I'd make them watch it repeatedly and in slow motion.
And, I'd do it while nursing in plain sight.
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