Growing up can be lame, sometimes even SUPER lame. And, today, specifically, I say bagh to taxes and future me* taking ridiculously large chunks of my paychecks.
Don’t they know that I just want to buy shoes and pay someone to make my nails look fancy? Damn it!
This all started this morning when I wanted to find out if my new job would bump me up into a different tax bracket.^ So, while I was looking at everything from the 2011 Oregon and Federal tax brackets to Social Security and Medicare rates. I even pulled up Oregon’s Workers’ Benefit Fund Assessment to find the employee assessment rate. Of course, that was all after I calculated a few figures to see if I wanted to increase my 401(k) contribution.
I had wanted to increase my contribution by about three percent until I realized that – after taxes, my flex spending contribution, my additional life insurance+ fee, my long term care fee, and my 401(k) contributions at my current contribution percentage – my HUGE raise calculates out to about $100 more per paycheck.
*Stupid 401(k) and being “responsible” in planning for my future. Note to future me: You better take totally awesome trips and have a super hot cabana boy, or else consider yourself warned. Thirty-year-old me is NOT amused.
^It did.
+To my nearest and dearest - you’re welcome. You bitches better appreciate me when I’m gone, because if you don’t – I’m going to come back to life and use my natural nails to fuck you up.
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